I have the hardest time figuring out, whether I am blindly following my ego, or if I am living my life according to my highest passions.
Maybe it's an interesting combination of the two. The decision to go back to school, is definitely a decision that keeps going through my mind, over and over again.
In my heart, I have the picture perfect reality. Whether it's actually possible, hmm seems most likely it isn't.
My ideal life would be to be in the same place as all of my family and friends. This is quite the request as my family and friends are dispersed on 3 continents, multiple states and countries.
My ideal life would include no items that are 'trash'. It would not take from the earth, that which causes more destruction than it would create being taken away.
In my perfect world, everyone would help each other out, community would be everything. We share what we have whether it be, clothes, food, knowledge, freely and happily. We provide for the needs of our community and everyone has talents to share. If someone seems to be less apt in contributing, we shower that person with love, we allow that person to bloom on their own terms.
We spend our time foraging food, playing, adventuring, being active in nature! Like rope swinging into lakes, home-made boomerangs, cuddling, watching the beauty of nature!
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I do enjoy travel, it's definitely a pleasure that I can learn to live without, unless of course some super sustainable airplanes and fuel come into being! Made from reclaimed materials and use solar energy.. or some amazing technology :)
But in this place in my dream, bicycles is really all you need. The air is clean the water is clear, all is vibrant :)
Currently I am working in a soil lab. I help run tests on soil to make sure all the nutrients for farms are in order. Atleast that's what I assume I am doing, I have just started working there a week or so ago. I enjoy it, it's part time, nothing to strenuous. I am definitely not used to working with chemicals, but hopefully they are currently inventing greener ways to test samples??
I am really happy to have the opportunity to learn a little bit more about the 'conventional' sustainable ways to grow food. I am quite curious. It's such a different world. I've only worked on commercial farms and also educational farms - but in the sense where it was so experimental that it didn't really matter what you did. Working on a campus research farm, is so different, everything is measured and calculated. I completely understand why, but in my mind it's all about bringing in as much diversity as possible. However, to research a project including as much diversity as possible.. would be almost impossible because there are so many variables involved. So it's very intriguing, I guess that is why it takes years and years and decades and centuries for science to build on itself. Working with each variable and building up from there. But I realize that today, things are exploding at a much faster rate, since there are many more hands and brains interested in this kind of learning and these kinds of experiments, and many companies interested in the results.
So currently I am compromising. Compromising my vision of this beautiful ecovillage with my little eco- mud home and beautiful vegan bountiful foraging forest.. lol I know .. hey someday it might actually happen.. maybe.. lol that's what dreams are for eh?? But anyway, I am compromising the kind of life I live, so I can delve more into what current scientific understandings are of sustainable systems. In hopes that I will learn something beautiful, and in hopes that maybe I can bring some beautiful understanding to the table as well. Who knows. But it's worth a shot.
Last night I had this very interesting dream. I dreamt my heart was set on going on this trip in a raft with 12 other people around the globe. The raft would take off from NY, it would go up to England and down Europe, down around Africa.. Anyway, it went all around the world, and all we would have would be the raft. In my dream, there had been a couple of trips already made by different sets of 12 people. They had documented their experiences and I was reading through them. For some reason I was feeling so unsatisified with what they had written, it was basically just an account of the places they had gone.. but with no detail.. no detail of what it was like to live in a boat, in a small raft where you had no privacy, no food .. lol now that I think about it.. totally impossible.. but haha that's what dreams are for eh!! to make complete logical sense. It's always fun trying to explain a dream that seemed so significant but the moment it leaves your mouth.. it just absolutely falls like dust to the floor with each word spilling out. I feel bad for my husband, always hearing my crazy dreams.
Anyway, in my dream, I felt so unsatisfied with the lack of content in their stories, I wanted to experience it for myself, and I would have been okay if the boat only went across the ocean.. in my dream the whole trip around the world would have taken 1 and 1/2 years!
It reminds me of school though, because it means I need complete dedication to this one thing, for 2-3 years, which most of the time I will most likely be living away from my husband as he is working on the other side of the world, and I will hardly have any time off because I will be doing field research in summers and my winter break is something only like a week.
But what I get out of it, is a different perspective, an experience, an 'education' which technically I can take anywhere in the world and hopefully have the skills to help anyone create beautiful soils!
Of course it's only comprises a fraction of my interests. And actually I am still so interested in all of Gabriel Cousens programs in Patagonia.
www.gabrielcousens.com
He has amazing programs about health and nutrition and vegan farming.. I was really close to going there, but for some reason I felt having a conventional education would be a good balance to everything that I have been up to. It felt like I had a window of opportunity to go back to school that wouldn't ever come back.. But the windows of opportunities to study alternative kinds of education are limitless and I know for sure, that's the first place I am going when I am done with the left side of my brain of mine :)
But it is difficult to refrain myself from just going there sometimes, especially when all these stories in the media make me feel so terrible about the way we live and how much we destroy our surroundings to live like this. It absolutely breaks my heart. I see how easy it is to get sucked into this materialistic lifestyle.. look at me, I'm typing on my computer posting on my blog!! haha, even as un-materialistic I like to think of myself. I'm completely not, especially compared to an indigenous women who completely takes care of her needs within her country/land. I am like a potty trained shih tzu compared to that. I doubt I would make it too long, in my own.. in the backcountry of Utah.. or wherever I choose to get lost in the woods. Which is pretty pathetic. But hey! Someday, that'll be me... we'll see atleast.
According to the Mayan calendar, the end of the beginning of the new world is 2015. Maybe by that time, all our dreams will be true :)
Anyway.
My brain is fading. I can feel it. Maybe I can keep working strengthening the voice of my heart.. so I don't have this tug of war happening inside of me all of the time.
Thanks for reading in.
Have a fabulous day
May all your dreams come true.
May your heart and your mind be in unison with all <3
Maybe it's an interesting combination of the two. The decision to go back to school, is definitely a decision that keeps going through my mind, over and over again.
In my heart, I have the picture perfect reality. Whether it's actually possible, hmm seems most likely it isn't.
My ideal life would be to be in the same place as all of my family and friends. This is quite the request as my family and friends are dispersed on 3 continents, multiple states and countries.
My ideal life would include no items that are 'trash'. It would not take from the earth, that which causes more destruction than it would create being taken away.
In my perfect world, everyone would help each other out, community would be everything. We share what we have whether it be, clothes, food, knowledge, freely and happily. We provide for the needs of our community and everyone has talents to share. If someone seems to be less apt in contributing, we shower that person with love, we allow that person to bloom on their own terms.
We spend our time foraging food, playing, adventuring, being active in nature! Like rope swinging into lakes, home-made boomerangs, cuddling, watching the beauty of nature!
A safe haven for all animals and people alike ;)
.jpg)
But in this place in my dream, bicycles is really all you need. The air is clean the water is clear, all is vibrant :)
Currently I am working in a soil lab. I help run tests on soil to make sure all the nutrients for farms are in order. Atleast that's what I assume I am doing, I have just started working there a week or so ago. I enjoy it, it's part time, nothing to strenuous. I am definitely not used to working with chemicals, but hopefully they are currently inventing greener ways to test samples??
I am really happy to have the opportunity to learn a little bit more about the 'conventional' sustainable ways to grow food. I am quite curious. It's such a different world. I've only worked on commercial farms and also educational farms - but in the sense where it was so experimental that it didn't really matter what you did. Working on a campus research farm, is so different, everything is measured and calculated. I completely understand why, but in my mind it's all about bringing in as much diversity as possible. However, to research a project including as much diversity as possible.. would be almost impossible because there are so many variables involved. So it's very intriguing, I guess that is why it takes years and years and decades and centuries for science to build on itself. Working with each variable and building up from there. But I realize that today, things are exploding at a much faster rate, since there are many more hands and brains interested in this kind of learning and these kinds of experiments, and many companies interested in the results.
So currently I am compromising. Compromising my vision of this beautiful ecovillage with my little eco- mud home and beautiful vegan bountiful foraging forest.. lol I know .. hey someday it might actually happen.. maybe.. lol that's what dreams are for eh?? But anyway, I am compromising the kind of life I live, so I can delve more into what current scientific understandings are of sustainable systems. In hopes that I will learn something beautiful, and in hopes that maybe I can bring some beautiful understanding to the table as well. Who knows. But it's worth a shot.
Last night I had this very interesting dream. I dreamt my heart was set on going on this trip in a raft with 12 other people around the globe. The raft would take off from NY, it would go up to England and down Europe, down around Africa.. Anyway, it went all around the world, and all we would have would be the raft. In my dream, there had been a couple of trips already made by different sets of 12 people. They had documented their experiences and I was reading through them. For some reason I was feeling so unsatisified with what they had written, it was basically just an account of the places they had gone.. but with no detail.. no detail of what it was like to live in a boat, in a small raft where you had no privacy, no food .. lol now that I think about it.. totally impossible.. but haha that's what dreams are for eh!! to make complete logical sense. It's always fun trying to explain a dream that seemed so significant but the moment it leaves your mouth.. it just absolutely falls like dust to the floor with each word spilling out. I feel bad for my husband, always hearing my crazy dreams.
Anyway, in my dream, I felt so unsatisfied with the lack of content in their stories, I wanted to experience it for myself, and I would have been okay if the boat only went across the ocean.. in my dream the whole trip around the world would have taken 1 and 1/2 years!
It reminds me of school though, because it means I need complete dedication to this one thing, for 2-3 years, which most of the time I will most likely be living away from my husband as he is working on the other side of the world, and I will hardly have any time off because I will be doing field research in summers and my winter break is something only like a week.
But what I get out of it, is a different perspective, an experience, an 'education' which technically I can take anywhere in the world and hopefully have the skills to help anyone create beautiful soils!
Of course it's only comprises a fraction of my interests. And actually I am still so interested in all of Gabriel Cousens programs in Patagonia.
www.gabrielcousens.com
He has amazing programs about health and nutrition and vegan farming.. I was really close to going there, but for some reason I felt having a conventional education would be a good balance to everything that I have been up to. It felt like I had a window of opportunity to go back to school that wouldn't ever come back.. But the windows of opportunities to study alternative kinds of education are limitless and I know for sure, that's the first place I am going when I am done with the left side of my brain of mine :)
But it is difficult to refrain myself from just going there sometimes, especially when all these stories in the media make me feel so terrible about the way we live and how much we destroy our surroundings to live like this. It absolutely breaks my heart. I see how easy it is to get sucked into this materialistic lifestyle.. look at me, I'm typing on my computer posting on my blog!! haha, even as un-materialistic I like to think of myself. I'm completely not, especially compared to an indigenous women who completely takes care of her needs within her country/land. I am like a potty trained shih tzu compared to that. I doubt I would make it too long, in my own.. in the backcountry of Utah.. or wherever I choose to get lost in the woods. Which is pretty pathetic. But hey! Someday, that'll be me... we'll see atleast.
According to the Mayan calendar, the end of the beginning of the new world is 2015. Maybe by that time, all our dreams will be true :)
Anyway.
My brain is fading. I can feel it. Maybe I can keep working strengthening the voice of my heart.. so I don't have this tug of war happening inside of me all of the time.
Thanks for reading in.
Have a fabulous day
May all your dreams come true.
May your heart and your mind be in unison with all <3
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