Facebook.

So,  I thought that I would be pretty good at updating my new blog.  Turns out I'm not doing as much as I hoped.  Most of my time, on the internet actually is now going to my new facebook page.

The theme is sustainability, health and compassion.

I have a serious weakspot for cute animals... so that will also be found there, but I guess that fits under compassion ? :)

Check it out if you feel inclined :)

https://www.facebook.com/Livinitjubulantly?ref=hl

I've also been posting a few images on my husbands page:

which the theme is awareness, happiness, medtation.. etc

The last one I've been updating to is happiness.org - not sure if that is supposed to be top secret or not.
But it's a great a site, started by a wonderful friend of mine and Nithya's

https://www.facebook.com/happiness.org?ref=hl

I also have a vegan blog:
https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8239865156419724014#overview/src=dashboard

And a community vegan page:
https://www.facebook.com/cachevalleyvegans

Living in the Heart!

The past couple of weeks have kinda been up and down.  I haven't been as motivated as usual and yesterday.. the whole day seemed to kinda lag and for some reason just wasn't feeling that up.. I guess you could say?

Something happened on my way home, that completely shifted my perspective in a second.

My neighbor has a pretty amazing treehouse with 3 levels.  I noticed that they had put up a pirate flag at the top of the tree!  It was such a funny moment and suddenly I snapped back to the amazing sense of the imagination of a child and the amazing blessings we have to witness these small things in life that bring a smile to our worlds.

It's a little hard to see in the picture, but it made my day!

Today I decided to start my day off a little different than usual.  It's pretty bad, lately I've been somewhat addicted to facebook and posting pictures, haha go figure.

So I decided to start my day off with a journal I had written a couple of years ago.  It was at the time that I had just gotten back from India, and my world was a little wonky.  I just gotten engaged and I was trekking on into unknown territories, it was my first year out of college and it was different.  My world was starting a whole new chapter!  I had to learn how to rebuild my happiness from the ground up.  Going from such an exciting eventful time of my life - India, to back to Utah in the winter - dark, cold, no job, no school, fiance on the other side of the world.  And of course I happened to be plagued with illnesses which kept coming and going.  This was before I learned of the miracles of a 100% plant based diet, at that time I was eating vegetarian but moderate amounts of icecream and what not :)

Anyway, I started what I call now, the "Love Book",  It was kind of like a journal of advice to myself - when I was feeling inspired - I would write them down, so in a sense it would be giving words of wisdom to myself  to a time in the future when I might need some.

I read that whole thing this morning, took about an hour.  But it really completely shifted my perspective!  Amazing, and I had an amazing day! Apart from a parking ticket.. but hey, I don't mind, everyone needs a parking ticket now and again.  Right??

Here, I will share a little bit from the book.. well let me back track a little bit... there were a few entrees made in Denmark, right after I came from India and on my way to Utah.  I'll start there, because I like what I wrote....

"Right now I am admiring the beautiful horizontal colors of the a danish winter sunset. Gently fading from orange, red, purple, peach, green, light blue to a deep blue.  I do love the mountains, but its only been recently that I've started enjoying the qualities of the plains, without obsessing over what they are lacking.  Nothings lacking anything, only perception is capable of lacking, and that is easily adjusted."

Next entree:

"It's too easy to be frustrated
It's too easy to be worried
It's too easy to feel bad
It's too easy to feel loss
But what thought are we paying too much attention to?  A slight or possible outcome of our future?  What if we were to be told by God, that this is actually the best thing that could have happened.
Perhaps we are...
1. Learning the most important lesson of our life.
2. Saving ourselves a lot of money in the long run.
3. Perhaps if this event didn't take place, something worse was around the corner
4. Because this event took place, something extra-ordinary could take place instead - is coming.

Does this event actually belong to us or does our ego cling to it, as it has nothing else to cling to let it go.  It doesn't actually belong to us, it's not actually bad, it's rather cute, or funny.. or ____?"

The book goes on.  But I guess it comes down to the point - atleast for myself - where I am constantly re-evaluating situations, figuring out the best possible outcome, the best possible course of action and when something goes not according to the plans.. sometimes I have the tendency to blame myself or get confused about what I am "meant" to be doing, and whether I am following my highest values, true purpose... in alignment with the world and etc etc

But I find this thinking to be rather stressful at times.  It was great to read this entree, and think, hey, I have made the best possible decisions that I could have, up until this point.  I can choose to say that this is the best possible outcome for me at this moment.  That I am learning the best lessons at this moment and I am fulfilling my highest visions on whatever I path I choose, it doesn't matter because I can't mess this one up, no matter how hard I try or how lazy I may blame myself for being.

So I started the day off on a good note :)

And some amazing things happened.

I learned today that indeed I was accepted to grad school!  The one thing the school lacked was funds actually to officially accept me.  I spoke to the professor I have been working with and she was saying that their are two slots open for next year.. well actually three  one soil microbiology, one integrated pest management and one dealing with peach orchards with her next year.  They would start next summer or next spring.  Which actually is great news for me, as I would love the chance to go to India this fall!  She even said that if I start next year with her, I could kind of develop my own research project and I could spend some time in India every year doing research - there are sooo many amazing places in India which would be awesome to link up to the degree I'm pursuing, it's just a matter of reaching out and figuring out the details of how to make it work and what it would require.

But she said no matter what, she will have work for me prior to when I get officially enrolled, I can work in the lab testing soils and I have also gotten that internship for certifying their Capitol Reef Peach Orchard as organic! Which I am definitely intrigued about, I know it's a lot of paper work but I would like to learn.

On top of that I received an unexpected phone call.  I had been feeling a little disappointed at how things didn't really work out at the yoga studio, since food in every aspect of the word is my Sincerest and dearest passion.  How it's grown, How it's used, How it's prepared, How it works inside of our bodies, How we dispose of it - and linking sustainability back to all of these questions.  Organic, plant based, raw, composting, health, healing.. etc. etc.  I love that the more holistic our approach to life becomes, the easier things fall in to place, the more beauty we have in the world and the healthier and more vibrant our bodies become!! It's magical and I love it!  I am definitely not your typical scientist, and I know that most of the things I post on facebook make my friends who are amazing analytically minded individuals cringe... but i can't be any other way :)

Anyway.. talk about tangents!! lol  Okay back to the point, I got an unexpected phone call from one of our most loyal customers at the yoga studio.

He had been on vacation, so actually he had no idea that I was no longer working there.  He was definitely amazed, but wanted to meet up for some general questions I guess about nutrition.  I don't really know much, but I do know that the owner of the studio had been mentioning that he was the one who was really interested in developing plans for some corporate health programs.. etc.  So I have a meeting with him tomorrow afternoon, apparently in his business, he is looking to hire someone to make morning smoothies and juices maybe healthy breakfasts.  As it is, I'm not working so much at USU, I definitely have time as of now to do add something in.

Anyway, all in all it was a good day.  It's interesting how the world can open up to you if you just allow it.

Do something that inspires you today, you won't regret it!

:)
Esther

My list of 100 sustainable life options for the year or years to come

So, I am still feeling this tension between going back to school and not going back to school.  My husband gave me a good idea about writing a list of 100 possible things you could do in the next five years:

1- Go back to school in Utah - spend time with family, friends and pets.  Time in Nature, learning about soil science and agroecology.  Will be able to use that knowledge wherever I go.

2- Go back to school somewhere else - for example canada- learn water and land management be able to do city planning work.. or other land development work.  Relatively inexpensive and a one year program.  Or study green technology - green walls and roofs http://agreenroof.com/walls/.  Study sustainability management - the art of helping companies become more green and sustainable.

3- Study live food nutrition.  http://www.treeoflife.nu/

4- Work on a vegan farm     http://www.goveganic.net/article94.html

5- Get a job in a green company - rainforest alliance, greenpeace, etc.

6- Work again for an environmental consulting company, save up for more expensive programs - for example .. like the 2 month long multicourse for permaculture in Australia.
http://www.permaculturenews.org/courses.php

7- Start a vegan cafe

8- Continue on and promote the current vegan catering

9-Spend a few years at Sadhana Forest - really get involved.
http://sadhanaforest.org/wp/volunteers/

10- Spend some months or more at Gorukana - write a book about the indigenous people and draw
up a list of all of their plant species and what they use them all for.
http://gorukana.org/

11- Continue working more proactively with my husbands foundation.  Dedicate myself to helping it become more sustainable. (which basically it really wouldn't be much to do, but maybe things like - order pen and notepads from sustainable contributors, make sure when he travels - he travels by train... etc.)

12- yoga teacher training

13- raw chef training
http://www.radiantlyalive.com/rawfood-training.php

14- Stay in Pune and take a bunch of classes - botany, land remediation, hindi, music classes, dance
    -year long ecological course - with ecological society of Pune

15-Start painting full time for sustainable causes - currently I am working on a painting of horse, once finished it will be sold and all proceeds will go to a horse ranch in New York which saves horses about to be slaughtered or who are badly abused.  They also save other animals like, cats, dogs, goats, sheep, etc.

16. Get Hula Hoop teacher trained.  http://www.hoopnotica.com/teacher-training

17.  Dedicate myself full time to only using sustainable energy, bicycling everywhere, grow as much food in my apartment as possible, no electric appliances and no gas.  Find natural alternatives to food preparation, lights, cooling and heating systems - DIY stuff.

18.  Make seed bombs full time.  Spend all of my time throwing them around town :)
 Or get seeds from Vandana Siva and other organic farms, plant them in otherwise throw-awayables and give them away to people so they can start their porch gardens.

19.  Make a fermenting business - fermented fruit and vegetable drinks for probiotics and health.

20.  Start playing piano again, hold concerts for supporting ecological causes.

21. Continue to network with all of the vegans, raw foodists, permaculturists, organic food producers, sustainable communities, eco-resorts, eco-businesses.  Keep blogging about their work, form stronger networks and pathways between their work.

22. Work on my mindfulness.  Enjoying every moment.  Chewing every bite atleast 30x.  Practicing gratitude everyday.  Working on Inner peace, no matter my outside choices.

23.  Dedicate to learning something new everyday.  Researching where our 'stuff' comes from, how it is made and what the most sustainable options are in terms of, watches, computers, etc.

24.  Take some classes on sustainable technologies, water filtration systems, alternative energy - for example - sustainable dance floors (floors harvesting energy from people!) http://www.sustainabledanceclub.com/news/energy_floors_at_ecomobiel_2012_in_ahoy

25.  My friend is an art teacher who makes art with the kids out of otherwise throw-awayables - pencil shavings, small pieces of paper.. etc.  They also collect used film from movie theatres and create cool things, like lamp shades out of them!

26.  Work/volunteer in an orphanage

27.   work/volunteer at an animal shelter

28.  Study wholistic animal care/ animal nutrition.  Many of our beloved pets are fed sick animals from slaughter houses, and roadkill.  Many of our beloved pets develop all sorts of strange diseases over time due to this unhealthy food.  Is there a better way to care for them?  Can our animals be fed a more wholistic diet?

29.  Another friend here in Pune works in collecting other peoples unwanted stuff, and sells it at huge 'garage-like-sales'  Not only does she re-sell, but she re-creates them into beautiful works of art.  She has a workshop where she cuts glass bottles in half, paints them and puts lights inside of them!  A great decoration for any modern/metro type household or would be fabulous in any cafe, restaurant, bar or club!

30.  Create a recycling center in India.  There are hardly any here.

31.  Travel the world and find communities like Gorukana who have only recently blended with modern society.  How can we learn from them?  Can we show genuine interest in their lifestyles so they can see that their way of life is amazing as well!  How can we work among the indigenous people's so we can get the best of both worlds - westernization and our roots!

32.  Eco fashion - http://www.ecofashionworld.com/Browse-By-Eco-Criteria.html
some the issues with the system we have today: http://www.sponsume.com/project/cotton-film-dirty-white-gold


- I met someone in Delhi who uses natural/plant dyes for all of her organic cotton clothes!  Beautiful stuff and actually affordable!http://www.creativebee.in/news-events.html
Here is another link in the same line:
 http://www.tradeindia.com/manufacturers/indianmanufacturers/natural-dye-sarees.html

33. Exploring energy healing more.  I have my Reiki level II, I use it just about every day.  For everything from minor aches and pains to any emotional or other issue.  I've used it in a few situations and surprisingly I've gotten pretty good results!  Every time I don't take western medicine I support a world which doesn't test animals in a cruel way for all of our medicinal needs.  I support a world where we aren't giving our health into the hands of anybody but ourselves.  I'm not saying there aren't situations in which we need outside support, but just saying, there may be a better way.

34.  Studying holistic teeth care.  Currently finding practitioners who understand the teeth on a much deeper level, than just giving quick fixes or pulling out the problem (root canals) is difficult.  I do believe that teeth are meant to be healthy, and I do believe our diet influences them.

35. Converting my car to work on vegetable oil.  Start a small business in helping other cars convert.

36.  Learn clay pottery.  Many people in the world still use clay pots, they are great for oil-free cooking!  And much healthier than Teflon.

37.  Travel to South America, stay at a friend's organic farm, learn to save seeds and all else that happens there  http://www.ecuadorexplorer.com/guaycuyacu/

38.  Experiment with making homemade soaps, lotions, mixtures or just plain recipes for skincare, shampoo, and other cosmetics.
       - I've already been experimenting with different natural powders for teeth and other products that are organic and traditional, which I've purchased here in India.  Flax seeds - ground mixed with water actually makes a pretty decent soap.  It would be pretty cool to learn more about natural stuff.

39.  Make more of my own household cleaners - to be honest, I rarely buy any kind of household cleaners and if I do, I try to get the most natural cleaner there is.  Mostly I've started cleaning everything with water.  In India, dust settles very quickly all over.  So it's common for the floors to be mopped once a day.  They generally use cleaners, but I've stopped using cleaner, because mostly it's just to get the dust out.  I've also started making my own dish soap - for handwashing.  Basically flax seeds (ground), vinegar and baking soda.  Works as far as I'm concerned :)

40. Collecting as many seeds and plants as I can - just from vegetables bought from the store, allow some to go bad so I can collect their seeds, and start my own container nursery on my balcony!  I could also collect any containers that would otherwise be thrown to plant in :)

41.  Start vermicomposting.  Both in my apartment and maybe I could volunteer at the place down the road which composts all of our food waste with worms :)

42.  Really start promoting my permaculture design business, be serious about it and take on offers - either voluntarily or having costs covered for stay and what not.

43.  Spend more time outside.  So much happens on the streets of India!  Feed animals, bring the really sick ones to shelters, sit with the homeless, sort trash - separate bags from food - some statistic I read was something like an average cow in India, when it dies, 27 plastic bags are found inside of it's belly.

44. Get a translator, and start speaking to the homeless, asking them their stories and how they ended up there, what they used to do and what's the stories of the families, backgrounds, what their skills are.   Maybe even write a book about it.  Similar maybe to the "Help"

45.  Or, even more similar to movie, "the Help", speak to the actual maids and other workers here in India, find out their stories and how they perceive their lives and life in general, how they compare themselves to it all.

46.  run a marathon

47.  Learn to scuba dive.

48.  Visit all of the farms and organizations on my list of permaculture related stuff in India.

49.  Go to Bangalore and learn from my friend the art of container gardening.

50.  Go to Thailand and apprentice at a permaculture farm, they have permaculture teacher training programs in the summer as well, along with apprenticeships to learn natural building. http://www.panyaproject.org/

51.  learn the ins and outs of natural building!

52.  Learn Botany!

53.  Learn wild foods, indigenous foods/ native species of India and what people used to mostly eat from the wild, in all different parts of India.

53.  Learn wild foods from around the globe, what indigenous people eat, and how they eat it :)

54.  Collect seeds of wild foods both for regions and globally. Rehabilitate unused and bare soils by mulching and planting these wild foods!  Allowing for nature to grow as it does, while we can also make use of it!

55.  Create community gardens in my area and offer to other communities as well!  Have residents get together and ask them if they'd be interested in having gardens and signing petitions to get gardens in these communities.

56.  Work together with the government to create more green spaces, especially for kids.  Kids in India tend to have to play on the roads, due to a lack of place to play.  - Maybe if unused batches of lands could be cleaned up into nice parks?

57.  Have a gathering of people bring any old coats, blankets or clothes that are no longer used.  Take a day and give the material out to the homeless.

58.  Open up the apartment to hold regular clothing swaps, everyone brings clothes which are nice, but they would be willing to give away for something 'new'.  So they come and bring their clothes and other stuff, and take a look at everything else to see if they'd want anything else.  No costs.

59.  Find out all the hidden skills of friends, maybe one friend likes to cook, another likes to sew, another is great at poetry.  Every week, a friend can teach and show everyone else their skill.

60.  Do nothing!

61.  Learn to surf.

62.  Move to Auroville, help out with SHARAN http://sharan-india.org/

63.  Learn more about no till farming techniques  http://solitudefarm.blogspot.in/

64.  Go on a huge hiking trek in the Himalayas!  Maybe meet some yogis!

65.  Visit Bhutan, learn the ways of the happiest place on earth.

66. Volunteer at an elephant nature park in Thailand, http://www.elephantnaturepark.org/

67.  Volunteer at a vegan community in Hawaii or New Zealand:
http://gentleworld.org/about/community/
The description of the place in New Zealand from the website: 
454 acres of magnificent New Zealand countryside that we call Shangri-La; a private valley, with two pristine rivers. Here we accept volunteers each summer season (from November-May) to help lift Shangri-La up to its name, which includes the planting and maintenance of hundreds of fruit trees, lots of flower gardens and several veganic vegetable gardens.

68.  Study oceanography, learn about the huge pile of trash we have in our ocean.. I think actually it's multiple piles of trash.. :/  Can we turn this into an island or something?  Put an airport on it?  Plant some trees?  What can be donee??  
http://www.squidoo.com/garbage-patch?utm_source=google&utm_medium=imgres&utm_campaign=framebuster
- check out the ted talk on this one!! amazing, yet very sad.

69.  My previous option, inspired this option.  Choose no plastic!  Can it be done, can I live a plasticless life?  I could email all of the companies from which I like to buy products and ask them whether they will take my plastic product back and reuse it once i have finished their product or if they can send it to me refilled with their product.  Maybe I could start petitions, have them go viral about getting companies to switch out of using plastic.  Can we get over our plastic addiction!  Help!
 http://www.squidoo.com/garbage-patch?utm_source=google&utm_medium=imgres&utm_campaign=framebuster
- I pasted the same link from above.. because, yes, it's that good, check it out!

70.  After watching that ted X talk about the state of our oceans and the trash island two times as big as Texas.  I could easily spend the next five years of my life filtering plastic from our oceans.  Hey, maybe we could use plastic as some insulation in our buildings?  Possible?   Maybe I can start a plastic building proposal, and maybe this is our solution for mountain top removals (since currently we are cutting open many mountains for all of their metals and what not for building everything) ?  Maybe we can start making our computers and cell phones from used plastics?  What else.. cupboards, tables, chairs.. hey!  Used plastic could be the new oak.. if we start using trash at at least the same rate as we use pristine ecosystems.. We might be able to rid ourselves of this pollution problem?? Hey maybe we will even save a few forests!

71.  Get into the 'business' (more like NGO) of stopping illegal animal trade.  Teach people alternative ways to make money, in fact ways to make money sustainably and in a much more grandios way then their previous disrupting lifestyle of illegal trade of wild animals.  And of course rescue all the wild animals and help them back to their natural habitats.  I could even be a watchmen for these areas, and make sure no one tries to steal them!  lol.

72.  Travel to China and other countries which eat dog and cat.  Give workshops on raw and vegan food with all of its health benefits.  Charm them into loving our animal friends :)  We could also sneak some really adorable baby cat and dog videos in there, all of the really sappy ones, that show that actually these little creatures are not much different from us.

73.  Organize prayer meetings everyday, to send positive wishes to all of the baby animals in the world.  Send positive wishes to earth and the all the people of earth. (as well as the plants, the bugs, the soil, the water and everything else that makes up this world)  The power of prayer!

74.  I can't believe I made it to 74.  At 34, I thought that I was done for .. meaning I wasn't sure if I'd be able to think of anymore.. haha.  kk. let's see.
I could experiment with eco-friendly paints. I could use vegetable and fruit colors.  I could sell them and maybe even hold art classes, using all of these natural vegan materials.

75.  Find out people creating sustainable packaging, start marketing these packaging to big companies as well as small ones, YAY no more plastic!

76.  Or, for all of our plastics, create a culture of washing things out and sending them back to the company to force them to re-use.

77.  Do something nice for someone else everyday, that normally probably wouldn't have happened.

78.  I could make a list like this everyday.  haha.

79.  Learn to knit

80.  Even better learn to use the hair from my llamas ( I know I am a vegan, but my home in Utah is completely an unvegan home - my mom, dad and other relatives.  No matter what I know they will keep their farm, and the hair from the llamas, they will continue to have anyway.  So might as well make use of it right? )  and learn how to make yarn from it :)

81.  Experiment with alternative refrigerator systems, meaning no electricity.

82.  Start city foraging - find out myself, about plants that grow in abundance in the city, make my own names for them, if I can't find them in a reference guide.  Ask locals about them.

83.  Go on walks in the parks, bring my botany book, further refine my indian plant identification skills.

84.  Learn to make bags and jewelry out of trash.

85.  Start collecting unique small trinkets of throw-awayables.  I could maybe make little puja trays with using them, or I could get creative and make ganesh statues :) or bird baths and bird homes.

87.  Start teaching in schools, I could start an eco club at a local highschool, we could collect trash and then make huge beautiful statues out of them.  Or even better, I wrote about this on one of my older blogs but make a green house from bottles!  When I visited the Nilgiris - Earth Trust, they worked with kids and the kids actually did this project.  Their green house was so cool!

88.  This might be more meaningful in the states, where families are a little more separated then they are in India.  But bring kids in to retirement homes.  Let them interact with the elderly - play games and maybe they could do interviews and what not.

89.  Offer a catering service of healthy organic vegan maybe even raw food to hospitals and prisons.  Maybe it could even be an NGO.  Why are we feeding our patients basically airplane food?
I was actually also even considering introducing health foods to my grandmothers retirement center.  Since they have started living there, it seems they have been experiencing more health problems as soon as they moved in.  Basically the diet is pretty laden with dairy and meats.  Like a lot of America.  When I go home, I would like to offer to prepare food for my grandparents on a regular basis.  It's her wish only, I won't force her to eat my food, lol.  But it might be an interesting thing to watch to see if my grandparents experience any improvement in their health?  Might be interesting.

90.  Live everyday to the fullest, get up early, eat light, exercise more than not, never miss an opportunity for that particular moment.  Smile to the biggest, laugh the deepest, love the fullest.  :)

91.  Almost there! Lol. I could start playing more sports, involve all of the kiddos on the streets.

92. Collect all of my leafy green scraps in a separate container, and take that container out every day to feed the cows.  (which are found all over in India)

93.  Continue to experiment in the kitchen with raw cuisine.  Visit villages and find out if they grow different stuff in their garden from what they sell at the market.  Find as much local/ non gmo produce as possible. Contine to experiment with making raw indian food.
- I made an awesome raw saag paneer recipe today!  haha which is entirely misleading because I didn't use saag nor paneer.  I used amaranth leaves and cashew cheese.  If you are interested in the recipe give me an email, I'd be happy to send it out

94.  Learn how to make coconut chutney from scratch, I love coconut.  They say that eating seeds is karmically not the best, so what is better is to regularly plant trees to make up for it.  Check out David Wolfe - The Sunfood Diet successsystem. Awesome book

95.  My husband teaches a "thank you" meditation.  I could do a "thank you" meditation every day.  Basically it is just saying thank you, over and over again in your mind, for the duration of the meditation.  I can't remember which society it is,but they say if you say thank you 1 million times, your life is changed forever.  It's a nice teaching  :)

96.  I can be grateful for all the ways in which I do live sustainably, and all the ways in which I do help others throughout my day, and all the ways in which I already contribute to society at large.

97.  I can learn the Indian Dandiya dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMgnvtymB28

98.  I could take a weekly fasting day.  Yesterday I fasted, and I found even though I was kinda headachey yesterday, all of today I have felt much lighter as a result, and I found I have been much more aware of the food I have been eating as well as the quantity.  Food in our today's society has become so much of a gobble-it-down culture we really have no idea the work that goes into our food and not to mention the ingredients, many of them pretty toxic to our systems, esp in the quantities that we typically eat.  So I think I could definitely incorporate fasting into my life, if not on a weekly basis a monthly one.  And of course, I can't leave out the impact that regular fasting could have on our world. Everything adds up, and the less we demand from the planet, the better for everyone.

99.  My husband just walked in, and said I could be a meditation teacher. Lol.  I guess I could, what does it take, I guess I would first have to learn to meditate more wholeheartedly.  I have a tendency to get distracted a lot.

100. I finally made it!! this list probably took a good 4 hours.  Which is kind of embarrassing.  But no worries, there were a few breaks in between.  My last one is.. a commitment to having fun, to not taking life too seriously, even with all of my crazy environmentalism shoopla.  I can everyday, remember to be with people I enjoy, relax when needed, laugh at myself, and just have a good time.

Hmm, so I think my husband is right about making a list of 100 answers to a question in your head.  Even if at the end of it, you still feel a little unclear, suddenly the world just doesn't look so black and white anymore... which makes the decision more peaceful.